You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
