this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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