What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
