You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
