so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
