I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
