One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
