just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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