We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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