M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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