i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
