Non-Jews are for practice
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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