I cannot find my penis.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
