she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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