who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
