She said her name was "party"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
