Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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