he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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