If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
