It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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