I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
