it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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