Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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