Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
