Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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