Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
my poor anus
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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