i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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