I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
