So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
