He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
