There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
