I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
