That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
