the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
