oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Operation Purity has been aborted
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We have started to decorate penises.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
