I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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