I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
