Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your cock deserves a montage
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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