Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
