it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
