Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
