Christians are straight up FREAKS
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
