Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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