please come you make the beer taste better
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need water and some morals
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