What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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