My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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