I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
