How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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