Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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