mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
