is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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