I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
